12 Things To Say To Someone Who Is Depressed, From Experts

It may be helpful to send them some articles about depression, and explain to them how your own depression manifests, since not everybody’s experience with the condition is exactly the same. The more open you can be about your experience and the way you feel, the easier it will be for them to understand where you’re coming from. Despite socially anxious/depressed men using dating apps frequently, they might fail to translate this frequent dating app use into actual social interaction. Secondly, every person you meet with depression will be at a different point in their recovery. Some may have just been diagnosed; others will have been living with the condition for years. As such, every experience of dating someone with depression will be different.


If a social situation goes awry, they automatically blame themselves. If they make a comment that comes out wrong, they beat themselves up for hours or days afterwards. They assume the other person thinks the worst of them and is focusing on their flaws and mistakes. This is usually because people who are socially anxious tend to have lower self-esteem and make automatic negative assumptions about themselves. Because they judge themselves harshly, they assume others do, too.

Don’t expect that a relationship will be all that you need to be happy. A healthy relationship will come along when you’re already as happy as you can be without that area of your life fulfilled. The painful disappointments and rejections that inevitably come with dating can take a toll, leading to dating fatigue. Your partner may show signs of depression, and you can offer assistance in response, but they must travel their own path to recovery. Although you cannot make all the decisions because you are not the one who is depressed, you can try to assist them.

Don’t blame them or blame depression

That’s great since it means you’re capable of seeing them as a whole person instead of defining them by their mental health. And a new study highlighting how depression interferes with visual perception could one day make the disorder easier to diagnose. I do think I would have a problem with dating a person who was depressed that just chose to absolutely wallow about it.

Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.

She eventually got the help she needed, but it was too late – the relationship didn’t survive. Her boyfriend missed the fun-loving, outgoing woman he’d fallen for. And there’s nothing wrong with dating someone who is invested in self-improvement. Pew Research Center data released in February this year indicate OkCupid that, in the United States, as many as 30% of adults have used a dating site or app. You don’t want somebody who’s going to be encouraging to a point of being pushy. Again, it comes down to being able to understand and validate you — encouraging you without forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do.

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There are many common core symptoms that are the same, including a loss of interest in daily activities, adjustments to food or sleeping patterns, and feelings of shame or worthlessness. However, your partner might also suffer less well-known symptoms like rage or anxiety. Additionally, they could exhibit extreme functional swings from one day to the next. When one romantic partnership ends—whether a marriage, a cohabiting relationship or a dating relationship—some people want to start another.

Allow a licensed therapist to assist them if they require assistance because they can carefully offer your partner suggestions that will be effective for them. Talk to each other, even if it’s difficult and you’re not used to exposing yourself to emotional vulnerability. Depression may cause your partner to isolate themselves and withhold their emotions.

– dating often is seen as overwhelmingly scary and decidedly unappealing. This type of anxiety and shyness leads to avoidance of meeting new people, as well as a sense of isolation and hopelessness about the prospect of finding a suitable partner. People struggling with depression and/or having suicidal thoughts can now call 988 to receive free support. “This number provides people access to professional crisis workers that can listen and offer help,” says Forti. “This line is open 24/7 so people struggling have access to a compassionate and trained helper no matter when they need help.” People with depression may not feel like socializing or talking—both may require too much energy at the moment.

Sometimes your spouse will say something to your depressive partner that will be more mean to you or someone else in their life. Destination is an important symptom in the treatment of depression. Distancing means the person pushing another person away in one of many ways. It could be because of fear or anger in the community or because it makes them afraid of hurting anyone else. Unless he wants to leave alone, then he’ll be disappointed by that.